Michael Davis
Mr. Murphy
English 51
Definition Essay
13 April 2009
What Is Friendship?
What is a friend? Many different people have just as many opinions on friendship. Most people say they have friends. What is the true test of a friend? With all the people you meet in your life, what is it that makes a select few stand out and earn the label friend?
First, let us talk about what a friend is not. An example would be, someone who is there for the good times but is not there for you when things get tough. People who do you favors, and expect something in return. A person you see out in public they talk laugh and relate to you but it’s all shallow. They don’t call, come by your home or invite you to theirs. Somebody who expects you to be someone your not, to act in a manner they think you should.
One expert says, “Friendship is an in-depth, relaxed relationship! Friends relate”. “It is an in-depth relationship combining trust, support, communication, loyalty, understanding, empathy, and intimacy. These are certainly aspects of life that all of us crave. Being able to trust and relax with your friend is a big part of friendship. Remember when you were young and went with a friend to her grandma's for the weekend. It was fun but when you got home, home was wonderful. Your feeling was "I'm home. I can relax now." That's what a friendship should be. You go out into the world and do your best. You have your ups and downs, your problems and triumphs, your fun and tribulations. You charm and you perform. Then you come "home" to a friend. You can relax, put up your feet; you are relieved. If you still have to be charming and/or performing, it's not a relief. Friendship is a comfy situation like home. You get home, kick off your shoes, relax and sigh, "Ahh, home." But no one can form a friendship until he/she realizes that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person. One must be a friend to have one. Never forget that friends relate. Relating is the basis of friendship”. These thoughts are from (Wilson). Another expert Francis De Sales says, “ Friendship is the most dangerous love of all because the other lover can exist with out communication, but friendship is totally based on it”. (Emerson) , “A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere”.
I personally feel that a friend is someone who you can count on. If you are in need and you call them, a friend will drop everything, and be there. No questions, and no matter the cost or distance. If they can’t make it, a friend will have tried there best. You will know that they tried and love them anyway. A friend has seen you at your worst and it made no difference. They still like you. And of course a friend is someone you have things in common with, and enjoy spending time with. Even if its just sitting having a beer and watching TV. A friend can be and should be your confidant you should be able to tell then anything, and know that it will remain between the two of you. Your girl friend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, should be your most valued friend. But this is not always the case. You should never give your friends up for a relationship, nor should you ask anyone else to give up their friends. The friendships you have out of the relationship could very well save your relationship.
Most experts speak of the loyalty and sincerity of friendships but most forget about love. I personally have found the quality’s that make a friend, do not come from time spent together, or the things you have in common. True friendships come only when there is love involved. Not necessarily romantic love, but a deep-seated heart felt love.
Friendship is something that is an individual thing, and it is not easily explained. And when a friend violates your trust. It can be very painful we have all had this happen. I have experienced it very recently. It can feel like there is a hole in your life, an empty and painful time. This will pass, but the hope that time will bring your friend back will never stop. The real expert is you! No matter what other people say, only you can decide who will be your friend.


Cyber Parent, Jan Wilson. Par 1. 27 March 2009
html://Cyberparent.com/friendship/whatisfriendshipdefined
Can’t remember where I found it. Francis De sales Par 2. 27 March 2009
Html:// I found it before I knew I had to save it.com
Can’t remember where I found it. Ralph Emerson Par 11. 27 March 2009
Html:// I found it before I knew I had to save it.com